Thursday, September 24, 2009

Earth Beta and Oglaf Reviews

First and foremost I must apologize for the review posted three weeks ago. I was unaware of the content and the fact that the so called "blogger" carnivorouscritic did not actually hold a blog or exist. I figured somebody would have taken the name. It works well. I shall not be removing it though as a testament to my own flaws i.e. the fact that I did not look up his history. Or blog. Or if they were a he or a she. Hubris has beaten me down harshly.

I must apologize that this is two weeks late. I actually had this done in time but the content was such that I needed to reflect on if I would want to actually post it. Also I had finals so, yeah.

Now, after the last negative review, I made a vow to hold off on the bad webcomic reviews. While they brought popularity to lots of other reviewers, I want you the reader to find webcomics that you might enjoy. When a comic calls itself "The Most Underappreciated Webcomic" though, a problem becomes apparent. When this comic is not Bear & Kitten, Nineteenth Century Industrialist, Amazingly Average or one of the other several webcomics with low readership I subscribe to, there is something wrong.

Earth Beta by Bryan

Remember Penny Arcade? The comic that is often (incorrectly) credited with creating the video game webcomic genre? The comic that has millions of readers and is able to support its creators making tons of money? Remember how originally when it started, its humor was really bad by our modern standards but it was revolutionary at its time? Remember how the humor has changed with the times and the art has developed as well? Remember how they originally used to include Jesus for no reason? Only one of those things you should remember should applies to Earth Beta. (Its the Jesus one).

Beating old ideas into the ground is the encyclopedic entry for Earth Beta. From the two roommates, to Jesus, to creepy random creature, to ....okay. I am stopping here. I want to just get the point across that this webcomic is shitty. I mean, I used to draw a horrible webcomic in high school. I recognized it as such. I eventually stopped drawing it. I never posted it on the Internet. The author needs to hold up to his plan of stopping after six months.

The roommates are interchangeable talking heads making sound but barely communicating anything. Here inlies the problem. They are failing at making a point anywhere in the story. They are failing at making memorable characters. They are failing at making an interesting and well made story. The comic calls itself a "Storyline Comic." It is only in that the events are stories in the same way that eating only marshmallows is a balanced and healthy diet. Which it is not. Combining loose storyline with the fact that they force every possible storyline stereotype down the readers throats makes it worse. I could rant on and on but I only read the first 100 or so comics before I felt a sharp stabbing pain I could no longer ignore.

Character design and art is taken almost directly from the Tim Buckley Copy-Pasta College of Comic Design. Originally the characters are all horribly jumbled polygons. Looking at the current art, they are now partially anime inspired polygons. With poorly drawn figures. And no necks. And oven mitts for hands. In the FAQ, he responds that he came up with the idea of not using necks because he wanted to be able to switch his characters heads for humorous purposes. This works mostly because his characters are mainly guys, a girl and an annoying flying thing. They can switch the personalities and nobody will notice. Seriously. Also using images from google for background is a lazy technique. Then again, in a comic as poorly made as this, it is merely a ripple in the pond. When the pond is under a torrent of rain.

My roommates have gotten used to my crying when I find a horrible webcomic. Or when I declare I lost faith in humanity. They flock over and see what new horror I found to stare at it like a carnival freakshow. They shared my cries of anguish looking at this comic. Four art students declared it was ugly unfunny comic. This means it most likely is. It means your audience has no taste to tell you to improve. That is what I am here for. To rip you up and give you the tape to repair yourself.

Now, you declared in your artist page you will quit the comic if it does not pick up in six months. Do it now. If you wish to improve though, start a new comic. Make better character models, use necks for Christs' sake. Plan out a storyline, write scripts out and send them to somebody who hates you to review them. Or at least somebody with a good sense of humor. If nothing else, they can at least make your writing better.

I've had enough of dealing with this though and it has literally left a bad taste in my mouth. Bad art, unfunny humor and the giant balls to refer to itself as "The Most Underappreciated Webcomic". It is true, but only because he misspelled under-appreciated. D


They are adult comics that are well drawn, funny and mature-sort of. Enjoy them anywhere but at work and only if of age.

No need to rant, no need to say more. I am all reviewed out for now. A+

Next week I hope to have finished my retrospective on the recently finished Scary-Go-Round.

Also in my personal comic news, SFCRTSN restarted here because it is important to recognize your mistakes (even after you sink in $200.)


Bryan said...

Oh hey, this is Bryan of Earth Beta, thanks for the review. So you're upset that I called myself "the most under-appreciated web comic" and that warranted a attack on me? All three of those comics that you listed as under-appreciated, get more page views and readers than I do. If you clicked on the project wonderful ads, you'd see that.

That's not because I'm a terrible web comic either. The average time spent on my site is 10 minutes. I don't think those other comics that are "under-appreciated" are spending 36 hours a week to make comic pages either. I felt that the amount of work i put into my comic constituted my use of that statement, and I was trying to pull readers in on an advertisement. I'm sorry you felt like it was some vicious attack on the web comic world.

Thanks for your review, because 9 of your readers actually went to my site because of it. I don't understand why, even after your spot on review, they stayed on my site for an average of 20 minutes.

Oh hey, I did want to say thank you though. I can't believe you actually said my characters look like Anime. That just means so much to me.

Thank you so much for being the keeper of the internet and all that is web comics. Does that come with a cape and a hat? Oh, and that literal bad taste in your mouth, is the hot pocket your mom just made you.

Jester510 said...

Lol, I think the no necks thing is funny. Also, after spending a bit of time on the site, I noticed that there's been a 'real' story line for the last 6 months or so.

PS. His site has aesthetics you should adopt.

Koltreg said...

Bryan -

The majority of my problem with you calling yourself the most under appreciated webcomic is that fact that YOU called yourself that. It would be like you calling yourself the most intelligent person alive. You know that you aren't, you have no backing to say it and most people would feel obligated to insult you for referring to yourself this way. Not to mention that by stating this, you are going against your own point. I am not the only person who finds you giving yourself this title ridiculous. I was originally linked by a forum that listed you as a bad webcomic mainly for this reason, your aesthetic and your writing.

As for the rest of your problems with my review, you are acting rather unprofessional. If, lets say, a movie critic hates a movie and the director goes after them, the next thing you know is that you have a media frenzy going on. The director seems crazy and begins following on a slippery path to insanity. See Uwe Boll.

While I hardly see myself as anything big on the Internet (because I currently am not) we live in a world where I am free to post my opinion and you are free to reply. If people want to follow me, they are free to. If they want to disagree with me, they are free to. Like you said, my readers still visited your site and examined it. Some who I talk with agreed, some disagreed. Honestly I hate when I write really negative reviews but when I really dislike a comic, it is my job to express the view point. Here is something to consider though, if you are so troubled by what I have written, why did you post it on your forum to draw attention to this?

If you would like to further discuss this topic among others, my information page has my AIM name public (it is Koltreg to expedite the situation). I am usually on and glad to talk.